The Existential Factor

Although Racist aren't the omnipresent Boogey-Men they were in their hey-day, I readily admit they do exist. Racism however, has become fairly obsolete.

If you consider racism in the sense of a widespread united hatred for an opposed race, you may find, as I have that it's largely non-existent.

Every now and then a Racist will make an appearance in society. Sometimes w/ enough shock & awe to vie for the nation's attention e.g. Imus, Jena 6. But more often that not, Racist as a whole are lucky to garner a few minutes of conversation around the water cooler.

A hushed "Did you hear about the guy who told all the Black people to exit Wal-Mart?" Or a lone article in The Washington Post on the depiction of our Head of State as a primate. 

By and large Racism, that unified conviction to hatred, is beginning to evaporate. If it's not gone already.

Yet as I write this I find I'm not filled w/ pride. I'm not "proud" of our society. I don't feel as if we've consciously taken a step forward in to unbiased acceptance. If anything I feel the absence of racism in society is merely a by-product of our attention span.

In short, we just don't care anymore.

We're not moving forward with the same conviction we had to running backwards.

Mass Lynchings may be a thing of the past, but Gay Marriage is still a thing of the future. While any and everyone may have the right to vote, no one has the right to free Health-Care.

There's been no real growth. We've kinda just, "moved on".


What do we really have to be proud of??

The Irony

If I held your heart in my hands.


If I cupped your innocence in my very palms.


If my eyes bore witness to your every desire.
And my fingers grazed over your tender courage.



That, would be a dilemma.




Standing there.


Grasping your pulse.




I would laugh.


I would raucously exhale every tear shed on your behalf.


My gut would spasm in mirth with every beat of my prize.




Alas.


I win.


I win and you lose.


You fail.


You are humble and defeated and I will decide our fate.




The horrors I could render.




But I won’t.


As justified as I would be and as deserving as you are.
I won’t.


If I held your heart in my hands,


I would give it back.

Stuck on Stupid

Having been on one side of this dynamic more times than I'd like to recall, setting my emotions aside in presenting this entry proved more difficult than I had anticipated.That said, the following is written from my (male) perspective...    


In the relations of men and women I've long held the helm of the "Nice Guy". Often typecast as the "Friend" or the "Brother" by the more attractive of the two genders.

Having carried this title from both positions of pride and disgust I've been more than emotionally wrought on several occasions.

Yet as cursed a path as I've walked it's along that very path that I've stumbled upon insights that will last well into the later years of my life. It's through those pains and those scarring rejections that I've come to understand the relations of two genders in intimate detail. 

Along the path of the "Nice Guy" I've succumb and bore witness to numerous levels of stupidity. Yet the most common and puzzling aspect of every broken heart is the cemented, unwavering, fortified attachment to  pain.

The joyous repetition I've seen of the broken hearted to skamper back to a nest of agonizing rejection and disrespect is astonishing.

Time and again I've been there on the other end of that late night call. Comforting and consoling a broken heart while stifling the pains of my own. Only to recieve the same call but weeks later.

I've heard the same story a thousand times over with the same interchangeable elements. For some reason those convicted to "moving on" fall victim time and again to the same pains. Rotating between "F*ck him" and "Him, him, and only him" before a consistent thought can even register.

Why? If "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result".

Then what do you call the above?


The only song I know of that encompasses this dynamic in it's entirety.